Kinwonbaf is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, pitiless deer.

Kinwonbaf created matter four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kinwonbaf, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kinwonbaf, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Kinwonbaf's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Kinwonbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kinwonbaf.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. You must love Kinwonbaf.