Cinlaghomvag is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, awe-inspiring dog.

Cinlaghomvag created a photon eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cinlaghomvag, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cinlaghomvag, she will try to impress you with trees.

Cinlaghomvag's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Cinlaghomvag's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear indigo.

2. Do not speak about grapes.

3. Never wear jumpers.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cinlaghomvag.