Wapnurtab is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, tranquil goblin.

Wapnurtab created a photon nine million years ago.

If you believe in Wapnurtab, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Wapnurtab, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Wapnurtab's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Wapnurtab's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a building before entering it.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Never wear scarves.