Bapnurttik is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, witless deer.

Bapnurttik created parasitic wasps six million years ago.

If you believe in Bapnurttik, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bapnurttik, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Bapnurttik's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Bapnurttik's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Goats are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate ants.