Zigappsisjarn is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, narcissistic bear.

Zigappsisjarn created a photon eight million years ago.

If you believe in Zigappsisjarn, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Zigappsisjarn, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Zigappsisjarn's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Zigappsisjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat coconuts.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never paint your neck black.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.