Jabkinlip is a god.
He takes the form of an enormous, resourceful goose.
Jabkinlip created dark energy five billion years ago.
If you believe in Jabkinlip, he will grant you five wishes.
If you do not believe in Jabkinlip, he will torture you forever.
Jabkinlip's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.
Jabkinlip's Holy Commandments1. Never eat tomatoes.
2. Show mercy to disobedient children.
3. Look mercifully on unfortunate nematodes.
4. Never paint your chest indigo.
5. Never talk about moons.