Labarppag Yikyatbap is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, thoughtless armadillo.

Labarppag Yikyatbap created a down quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Labarppag Yikyatbap, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Labarppag Yikyatbap, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Labarppag Yikyatbap's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Labarppag Yikyatbap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat corn.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Never wear cyan coats.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Run away from brown snails, for they are unholy.