Padhudmit is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, fussy gnu.

Padhudmit created the planet Earth four years ago.

If you believe in Padhudmit, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Padhudmit, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Padhudmit's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Padhudmit's Holy Commandments

1. Padhudmit loves snails, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. You must love Padhudmit.

4. Never wear ear rings.

5. Never talk about swans.