Safvonmat is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, clever faun.

Safvonmat created matter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Safvonmat, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Safvonmat, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Safvonmat's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Safvonmat's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never look at planets.

3. Never jump in the presence of tortoises.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not shave your arms.
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