Laddapbep Quamvanmet is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, unjust fox.

Laddapbep Quamvanmet created dark matter seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Laddapbep Quamvanmet, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Laddapbep Quamvanmet, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Laddapbep Quamvanmet's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Laddapbep Quamvanmet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your neck.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never feed oranges to aardvarks while wearing gray scarves.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.