Cissagyattlogbisslab is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, passionate shrew.

Cissagyattlogbisslab created Europe two years ago.

If you believe in Cissagyattlogbisslab, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cissagyattlogbisslab, he will turn you into a hamster.

Cissagyattlogbisslab's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Cissagyattlogbisslab's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never talk about cell theory.

4. Always help hamsters in need.

5. Do not dye your hair purple.