Linteenvon is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, blissful goat.

Linteenvon created a bottom quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Linteenvon, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Linteenvon, it will turn you into a mouse.

Linteenvon's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Linteenvon's Holy Commandments

1. Frogs are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never go into indigo rooms.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Run away from gray swans, for they are unholy.

5. Linteenvon must be the most important thing in your life.