Dimpitkimarn is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, grumpy scorpion.

Dimpitkimarn created humankind four million years ago.

If you believe in Dimpitkimarn, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Dimpitkimarn, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Dimpitkimarn's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Dimpitkimarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick mites.

2. You must pray to Dimpitkimarn four times a day.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

4. Always treat squirrels with great respect.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.