Kadvanciss is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, selfish crow.

Kadvanciss created the planet Venus seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kadvanciss, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Kadvanciss, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Kadvanciss' most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Kadvanciss' Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not wear mauve clothing.

4. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Kadvanciss on top of all buildings.

5. Kadvanciss loves cats, so they must be respected.