Damzodham Litvon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, smart parrot.

Damzodham Litvon created an electron five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Damzodham Litvon, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Damzodham Litvon, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Damzodham Litvon's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Damzodham Litvon's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from blue mice for they are unholy.

2. Never feed gooseberries to shrews while wearing pink rings.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never go into gray rooms.

5. Do not make images of living things.