Pogvonkgub is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, unfair clam.

Pogvonkgub created the universe five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pogvonkgub, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Pogvonkgub, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Pogvonkgub's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Pogvonkgub's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Never feed lentils to foxes while wearing cyan dresses.

5. Do not stand on grass.