Larpyarshav is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, sapient human.

Larpyarshav created bats nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Larpyarshav, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Larpyarshav, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Larpyarshav's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Larpyarshav's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never talk about voles.

3. Feed all hungry otters.

4. Hide if eight aardvarks approach from the west.

5. Always take life seriously.