Dabsanpang is a god.
She takes the form of an extremely fat, narcissistic fox.
Dabsanpang created an electron nine trillion years ago.
If you believe in Dabsanpang, she will look after your home planet.
If you do not believe in Dabsanpang, she will destroy your home galaxy.
Dabsanpang's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.
Dabsanpang's Holy Commandments1. Never paint your chest brown.
2. Worship no other gods but Dabsanpang.
3. Show mercy to disobedient children.
4. Do not stand on grass.
5. Do not drink alcohol.