Bellomtdob is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, irritating snail.

Bellomtdob created gold three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bellomtdob, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bellomtdob, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Bellomtdob's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Bellomtdob's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

3. Hide if six hamsters approach from the south.

4. Always wear indigo.

5. You must never eat carrots.