Dutyattvol Baphenlak is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, impressive guinea pig.

Dutyattvol Baphenlak created the solar system nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Dutyattvol Baphenlak, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Dutyattvol Baphenlak, she will turn you into a snail.

Dutyattvol Baphenlak's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Dutyattvol Baphenlak's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate sheep.

2. Do not wear green clothing.

3. Erect eight gold sculptures of Dutyattvol Baphenlak on top of important buildings.

4. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

5. Never eat corn.