Staftarappmitgofhugcem is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, amazing raven.

Staftarappmitgofhugcem created the Virgo Supercluster three billion years ago.

If you believe in Staftarappmitgofhugcem, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Staftarappmitgofhugcem, he will manifest in front of you.

Staftarappmitgofhugcem's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Staftarappmitgofhugcem's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear turquoise tights.

2. Never paint your face orange.

3. Run away if seven gulls approach from the east.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Capybaras are unholy and should not be approached.