Tettipagdut is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, weak cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Tettipagdut created Mount Everest two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tettipagdut, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tettipagdut, he will turn you into a duck.

Tettipagdut's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Tettipagdut's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Always help nematodes in need.