Hitnabcenpid is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, benevolent goblin.

Hitnabcenpid created carbon four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hitnabcenpid, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hitnabcenpid, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Hitnabcenpid's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Hitnabcenpid's Holy Commandments

1. Hitnabcenpid loves gulls, so they must be respected.

2. Never think ill of sick rats.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate doves.

4. Do not kill frogs.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.