Nanhitraw Somyarnak is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, merciless troll.

Nanhitraw Somyarnak created Asia three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nanhitraw Somyarnak, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Nanhitraw Somyarnak, she will turn you into a dog.

Nanhitraw Somyarnak's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Nanhitraw Somyarnak's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Hide from mauve swans for they are unholy.

4. Never run in holy places.

5. Never think ill of sick foxes.