Dotfetvagflowiktinyar is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, sage jaguar.

Dotfetvagflowiktinyar created energy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dotfetvagflowiktinyar, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dotfetvagflowiktinyar, it will turn you into a dog.

Dotfetvagflowiktinyar's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Dotfetvagflowiktinyar's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate aardvarks.

2. Do not trade with those who eat garlic.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not covet oxen.