Hapxuckfly is a god.
She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, merciful swallow.
Hapxuckfly created bats six billion years ago.
If you believe in Hapxuckfly, she will grant all your wishes.
If you do not believe in Hapxuckfly, she will send four elephants to rub you out.
Hapxuckfly's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.
Hapxuckfly's Holy Commandments1. Do not hurt goats.
2. Put Hapxuckfly first in all things.
3. Hapxuckfly loves foxes, so they must be respected.
4. Do not fashion models of living things.
5. Run away from blue geese, for they are unholy.