Cipbanrow is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, pitiless rat.

Cipbanrow created dark energy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cipbanrow, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cipbanrow, he will destroy your home solar system.

Cipbanrow's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Cipbanrow's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Always make sure there are no turtles in a building before entering it.

3. Never wear hats.

4. You must pray to Cipbanrow five times a day.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.