Tofnakpig Cintonban is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, pitiless mink.

Tofnakpig Cintonban created light two million years ago.

If you believe in Tofnakpig Cintonban, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tofnakpig Cintonban, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Tofnakpig Cintonban's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Tofnakpig Cintonban's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Tofnakpig Cintonban's name in vain.

2. Never think about stars.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not chop down trees.