Dimomtsug is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, self-confident grasshopper.

Dimomtsug created the planet Jupiter nine million years ago.

If you believe in Dimomtsug, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Dimomtsug, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Dimomtsug's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Dimomtsug's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not wear violet clothing.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Dimomtsug.

5. Sharks are not to be trusted.