Tapcanlarg Litbimtin is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, tranquil human.

Tapcanlarg Litbimtin created an electron five million years ago.

If you believe in Tapcanlarg Litbimtin, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tapcanlarg Litbimtin, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Tapcanlarg Litbimtin's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Tapcanlarg Litbimtin's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry rats.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never laugh in holy places.

4. Do not shave your arms.

5. Never pour water over plants.