Cepnelbus is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, dishonourable newt.

Cepnelbus created a photon six million years ago.

If you believe in Cepnelbus, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Cepnelbus, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Cepnelbus' most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Cepnelbus' Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate dolphins.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never talk about stars.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not speak about nuts.