Fityikjopfed is a god.
He takes the form of an exceedingly large, intelligent snake.
Fityikjopfed created a top quark three thousand years ago.
If you believe in Fityikjopfed, he will be shocked.
If you do not believe in Fityikjopfed, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.
Fityikjopfed's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.
Fityikjopfed's Holy Commandments1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.
2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.
3. Respect your elders.
4. Never look in ponds.
5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.