Tagbarnvadbem is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, awesome butterfly.

Tagbarnvadbem created a top quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tagbarnvadbem, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tagbarnvadbem, it will turn you into a worm.

Tagbarnvadbem's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Tagbarnvadbem's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate monkeys.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never feed bananas to badgers while wearing brown stockings.