Tipquillyim is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, cheerful porpoise.

Tipquillyim created the Andromeda Galaxy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tipquillyim, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tipquillyim, it will turn you into a snail.

Tipquillyim's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Tipquillyim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.

5. Never run near frogs.