Wikzakflam is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, loving cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Wikzakflam created vertebrates nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wikzakflam, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Wikzakflam, he will remove you from existence.

Wikzakflam's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Wikzakflam's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never run near aardvarks.

3. Always make sure there are no birds in a building before entering it.

4. Never go into indigo rooms.

5. Do not commit murder.