Lunvonkdab is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, deceitful fish.

Lunvonkdab created a quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Lunvonkdab, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Lunvonkdab, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Lunvonkdab's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Lunvonkdab's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Lunvonkdab.

2. Never talk about amino acids.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Lunvonkdab.

4. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.

5. Lunvonkdab loves otters, so they must be honoured.