Nurlbidkab Mutjapbif is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, contented walrus.

Nurlbidkab Mutjapbif created an electron two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlbidkab Mutjapbif, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Nurlbidkab Mutjapbif, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Nurlbidkab Mutjapbif's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Nurlbidkab Mutjapbif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in red rooms.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not dye your hair white.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not shave your head.