Flamlopkim is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, smart shrew.

Flamlopkim created parasitic wasps six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flamlopkim, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flamlopkim, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Flamlopkim's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Flamlopkim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Flamlopkim.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Erect seven gold sculptures of Flamlopkim on top of important buildings.

5. Goats are not to be trusted.