Ontquillomin is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, confident horse.

Ontquillomin created a strange quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Ontquillomin, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Ontquillomin, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Ontquillomin's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Ontquillomin's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in holy places.

2. Never look at asteroids.

3. Ontquillomin loves tapirs, so they must be respected.

4. Hide from orange dogs for they are unholy.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.