Matripbess is a god.
It takes the form of a plump, irritating ant.
Matripbess created Europe nine billion years ago.
If you believe in Matripbess, it will give you lots of gold.
If you do not believe in Matripbess, it will send you a sign.
Matripbess' most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.
Matripbess' Holy Commandments1. Never mention porpoises.
2. Never sit near doves.
3. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.
4. Never talk about fire.
5. Do not stand on grass.