Bedhamdussvig is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, flying narwhal.

Bedhamdussvig created the cosmos five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bedhamdussvig, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bedhamdussvig, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Bedhamdussvig's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Bedhamdussvig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Always wear mauve.

4. Run away from magenta seals, for they are unholy.

5. Do not take Bedhamdussvig's name in vain.