Nurtarhivweg is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, witless goblin.

Nurtarhivweg created the cosmos nine million years ago.

If you believe in Nurtarhivweg, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nurtarhivweg, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Nurtarhivweg's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Nurtarhivweg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. You must pray to Nurtarhivweg seven times a day.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a room before entering it.

5. Never talk about nebulae.