Japnullved Quagominyak is a god.

She takes the form of a small, bad-tempered eagle.

Japnullved Quagominyak created life two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Japnullved Quagominyak, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Japnullved Quagominyak, she will send minions to preach to you.

Japnullved Quagominyak's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Japnullved Quagominyak's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Seals are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always treat tapirs with great respect.

5. Always take life seriously.