Bemlincud is a god.
He takes the form of a gargantuan, sage gorilla.
Bemlincud created viruses three trillion years ago.
If you believe in Bemlincud, he will give you lots of gold.
If you do not believe in Bemlincud, he will turn you into a giant snail.
Bemlincud's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.
Bemlincud's Holy Commandments1. Put Bemlincud first in all things.
2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.
3. Hide from indigo squirrels for they are unholy.
4. Always make sure there are no mice in a room before entering it.
5. Your children must be taught to worship Bemlincud.