Nilartcudyat is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, quiet guinea pig.

Nilartcudyat created Europe two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nilartcudyat, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Nilartcudyat, she will make you grow a tail.

Nilartcudyat's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Nilartcudyat's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about black holes.

2. Retreat if three voles approach from the north.

3. Never wear red corsets.

4. Moths are not to be trusted.

5. Never look at asteroids.