Zimflissig Ganmapjoptifpitpagfutmid is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, blissful bear.

Zimflissig Ganmapjoptifpitpagfutmid created the cosmos eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zimflissig Ganmapjoptifpitpagfutmid, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Zimflissig Ganmapjoptifpitpagfutmid, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Zimflissig Ganmapjoptifpitpagfutmid's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Zimflissig Ganmapjoptifpitpagfutmid's Holy Commandments

1. Zimflissig Ganmapjoptifpitpagfutmid loves goats, so they must be respected.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

4. Never run in holy places.

5. Never eat lemons.