Logrutt is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, intelligent lobster.

Logrutt created the universe five million years ago.

If you believe in Logrutt, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Logrutt, she will turn you into a worm.

Logrutt's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Logrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your neck.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never feed pineapples to tapirs while wearing magenta shoes.

5. Never mention tortoises.