Nurlripzig is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, bad-tempered toad.

Nurlripzig created energy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlripzig, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Nurlripzig, he will turn you into a tree.

Nurlripzig's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Nurlripzig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never run in the presence of dolphins.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never play with disobedient children.
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