Begstafpin is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, moody frog.

Begstafpin created the Small Magellanic Cloud twelve years ago.

If you believe in Begstafpin, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Begstafpin, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Begstafpin's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Begstafpin's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate capybaras.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. You must pray to Begstafpin five times a day.

4. Do not kill whales.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.