Wapcetcip is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, tiresome goat.

Wapcetcip created oxygen seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Wapcetcip, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Wapcetcip, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Wapcetcip's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Wapcetcip's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear pink kilts.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Wapcetcip loves pigs, so they must be respected.

4. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

5. Run away from indigo shrews, for they are unholy.